i am going to die one day. when i think about that, the 9 to 5 job doesnt seem like a big thing anymore.

there is some relief in being a follower. i dont have to decide anything. someone already decided, they already took the risk of it being wrong. i just follow.

i dont think this is a bad thing. while i am following i have time to figure out what i actually want.

good things about it, i can think of few. less anxiety. more free time. and if i want to leave later i can leave without having to explain anything to anyone.